i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
