Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
