do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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