just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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