Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
