the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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