when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
