Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
