She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
