I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
