my mouth tastes like poor choices
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
