Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
my penis made a compromise with my morals
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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