Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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