You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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