just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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