omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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