I just saw a hot homeless man
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
