This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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