This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
