just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just had sex on a roof
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize