Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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