Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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