It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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