I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Boobs speak an international language.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize