so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
