Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
