if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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