THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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