Kiss
Puke
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
