Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
