Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
