If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
