Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
