apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Is her dick bigger than yours?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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