I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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