I wannas sexs uuuuu
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
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Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
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I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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