Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
BRING THE BAGELS
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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