We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
