so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize