And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
