We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The best revenge is premature balding
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
