Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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