she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
