I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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