We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
