maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
