dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
