So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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