Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
