she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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