I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize