saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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