Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
