What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
foreskin is a definite game changer
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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