I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
