I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
