when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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