You're a womanizer and a bitch.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
