I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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