Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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