Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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