I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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