I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
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